Photo Credit: Charlotte May (Pexels)
Getting laid off is not a moral failure.
It is not always a lack of skill.
It is not a measure of someone’s value.
It means a role ended.
A budget shifted.
A strategy changed.
That’s it. The rest is noise.
And yet, when people are laid off, the way others “check in” often adds pressure instead of relief. Good intentions collide with bad timing, outdated assumptions, and quiet judgment.
So let’s talk about what not to say, and what actually helps.
Things to Please Stop Saying
“So… have you found a job yet?”
This turns a human moment into a progress report. People are still processing loss, uncertainty, and identity, not waiting for you to refresh their status.
“The market is great right now.”
This is not the same economy it was even two years ago. Automated filters, ghost postings, endless interview loops, and rolling layoffs have changed the landscape.
Optimism without context feels dismissive.
“You’ll find something, companies are hiring!”
Companies are posting.
Hiring is different.
I recently interviewed with a company that announced layoffs affecting over 10,000 employees less than two weeks later.
“Everything happens for a reason.”
Sometimes the reason is structural, budgets, mergers, or shareholders.
Meaning can come later, but it doesn’t need to be assigned for someone else.
“At least you got severance.”
Severance doesn’t replace momentum, confidence, routine, or health insurance.
It simply buys time, and then it runs out.
“I know someone who found a job in two weeks.”
Survivorship stories don’t comfort people in transition. They quietly turn struggle into comparison.
What People Forget
Layoffs happen to high performers.
To leaders.
To caregivers.
To people who did everything “right.”
This is a different time.
A different hiring market.
A different level of uncertainty.
Speed is not a measure of worth.
Silence is not laziness.
Rest is not failure.
If You Actually Want to Help (Here’s What Matters)
Support isn’t commentary.
Support is action, with consent.
• Write a real recommendation, specific and public
• Share their work or post
• Ask before sending job listings
• Offer referrals clearly
• Check in without tracking progress
No timelines. No scorekeeping. No comparisons.
Just: “Thinking of you. Still rooting for you.”
Why This Matters
Layoffs don’t just interrupt income.
They interrupt visibility, confidence, and belonging.
And in this market:
- referrals open doors
- recommendations restore credibility
- shared work creates momentum
This isn’t the end of anyone’s story.
It’s a transition, and transitions deserve dignity.
AQ'S Corner 
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